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Live Alien Guts
One of our bestsellers! Amuse your friends, delight your co-workers! Our team of insterstellar space travellers have gone above the call of duty on this one! We sent 5 of our best employees to suck the guts out of some of those pesky Grays! (This is a must for you disgruntled Abductees). Your Guts will arrive suspended in our patented cosmic embalming fluid in a decorative hermetically-sealed glass jar. You can also upgrade your order to add on a custom lighted display base for your Alien Guts. Click here to view photos of previous orders we've shipped to satisfied customers around the world!
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Liquid Blue Sky®
We have come up with a secret patented way to liquefy the Sky. Now, for the first time ever in the history of human kind, you can have a your very own Blue Sky, in the comfort of your own home! Are you having a grey day? Simply open the spicket, and Liquid Blue Sky® will trickle out onto your floor. But wait, there's more! In a few minutes, Liquid Blue Sky® will evaporate and rise and begin to hover across your ceiling. Now, just relax, and look up into your very own Blue Sky! Depressed right now??? Too bad ! You should have bought our patented Liquid Blue Sky® a long time ago!
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Aardvark Hackeysack
If you leave your house each day for more than a few hours to go to school or work, then your Aardvark is probably getting pretty bored. Brighten up it's day with the Aardvark Hackeysack! It's a well known fact that Aardvarks LOVE to kick around a hackeysack. No training required! It's like putting a fish in water! Our specially produced sacks contain the scent of the red-tailed spotted-chest lily-livered horned-toad. And we all know what that means! Your Aardvark will jump for joy when you bring home the Aardvark Hackeysack.
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The Self Hypnotizer
Tired of spending hundreds or even THOUSANDS of dollars a year on your hypno-therapist, only to find that you are not really getting any better? Now, with the Self Hypnotizer, you can hypnotize yourself, for a fraction of the cost! Never worry again about what subliminal messages are being planted in your unwitting mind. Plant them yourself, and you'll know exactly what's going into that vast wasteland you call your brain!
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The Etherovaporizer
Are you plagued by poltergeists? Bothered by beelzebub? The Etherovaporizer will measure and track the existance of any evil other-worldly beings in your surroundings. Now, there is finally a way to prove that you are not crazy! Hearing voices again? Nevermind! The Etherovaporizer is the only device that will actually record those scary sounds! The Etherovaporizer will detect, record and immediately vaporize any unwanted visitors, catapulting them straight into the nether-ethrero-world!
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The Face Master
Perfect for undercover agents, hard-core criminals and just about any teenager today! The Face Master will allow you to change your face in minutes. Got acne? No problem, change your face! Wanted by the FBI? No Problem! Change your face! Pesky cops on your trail again? No Problem! CHANGE YOUR FACE! Just about anyone today could use The Face Master. No more time consuming plastic surgery, no more expensive makeup, no more fake glasses & noses! With The Face Master, it's easy to change your face! Just drop two blotter tabs which are saturated with our patented formula, and you can change your face in minutes!
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Electric Ben Wa Balls
Are your plain old Ben Wa Balls just not doing the trick anymore? Try our new Electric Ben Wa Balls! Guaranteed to put the kick back into your life. Husband too tired when he gets home late? Try our Electric Ben Wa Balls with him and he will be never come home late again! Ecstatic nights and days will be had by one or all! You dont know what youre missing! You can feel good from the inside out, all day and alll night, 365 days a year! Dont settle for excuses, dont settle for anything less than 24 hour satisfaction! We guarantee you won't need anyone or anthing else once you've tried our Electric Ben Wa Balls!
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The Space Blaster 2000
Our newest item, the Space Blaster 2000! Shear your way through any time-space continuum! Blast through those dreaded Frames in cyberspace! Shear through invisoble veils and open doors to any dimension! Simply place the Space Blaster 2000 on your third eye, and imagine your way into any plane. No more blocked doors! With the Space Blaster 2000, you are in, baby!
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Rainbow Bears
Our stuffed Rainbow Bears are made from the fur of Schnarrfenfoofer Chameleons found only in the southern Plieades. No Schnarrfenfoofers were hurt to make our bears! Schnarrfenfoofer's shed their coat every 2-3 months, and our adventurous team of Schnarrfenfoofer fur traders roam the Plieades and collect only the most recently shed furs. Our Rainbow Bears will continue to emit a rainbow color for up to seven (7) years! Unlike some other companies, who claim that their furs will glow eternally, we come right out and tell you the truth. Seven years! (That's like only .16 cents a day, in dog-years!)
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